The world of gay hookup apps can be a wet and wild place. With someone guys using online dating, you’d think they would have learned a thing or two about how to behave on them. I’ve been using gay hookup apps for ten years. I just might have a few pieces of advice for you that will come in handy. No matter where you are this advice is universal. Alright my fellow gays, let’s pump the gas and get started!
The best pieces of advice I have are to know yourself and then know your audience. The first aspect of this might seem obvious, but I’m serious, so many guys don’t know what they are looking for or what they want. You need to have a heart-to-heart with yourself and figure out your desires and motivations before trying to oppress another guy with your wantonness. Some key things you might want to consider answering for yourself before meeting up with a guy might be:
- Am I looking for something long-term or just a casual encounter?
Don’t get on a sex app or hookup app if you want to date. That won’t end well. Be honest with yourself. You may like the idea of sleeping with multiple guys, but then you unexpectedly get attached with someone after you sleep together. Don’t be that guy. Use dating apps for dating and gay hookup apps for hooking up. If you’re not sure what the app skews toward, a good measure of thumb is that if a app allows nudes it’s more for hooking up. If it does not, it is probably geared toward dating.
- Do I prefer to top, bottom or both?
If you don’t know, be explicit. Say you’re curious or into experimenting. If you think you look more like a bottom, but have never tried it. Don’t say you’re a bottom. You don’t want to put yourself in an uncomfortable position to fill some sort of misconception you have about yourself. If you’re experimenting, be sure to find a partner who will go slow with you and that you feel confident will help show you the ins and outs (literally).
- Do I have a type? Am I a type?
We gays have so many freaking labels for body types and behaviours. Personally, I think it’s rather ridiculous. I like guys that come in all shapes, sizes, ethnicities and backgrounds. But, not everyone else does. If you’re more attracted to twinks, you should hook up with some! If you’re honest with yourself about your own body type, you might figure out that you’re an otter or something and then you can hit up guys who are into otters.
The know your audience part of my advice is simply this. Knowing the people you’re looking to hookup with and how you want to present yourself to them. People are generally easy to read. Put your best self forward and realize that this hookup is as much about them as it is you. Respecting the community and others is always a good practice. In the vein, here are some don’ts you will want to avoid like the plague:
- Don’t send a one word message to someone.
The ubiquitous, “Sup?” “You up?” “Hi.” etc. Need to be stopped! Try messaging someone a compliment about their appearance or an aspect of their profile you enjoyed. You’ll get more replies this way. I’m not saying you have to compose a sonnet, but try and put a little effort into that first message. If you have a sense of humour, it is good to employ it while messaging a potential hookup.
- Don’t be rude.
Be nice. It’s easy. Sex and how we feel about our bodies can come with a lot of unnecessary shame and insecurity. Be confident, but not cocky. If you’re not into the guy that just messaged you, don’t string him on or insult him. Send a polite reply, even if it is a lie, to get you out of it. If you feel incapable of saying anything nice, don’t say anything at all.
- Don’t use dated photos or another person’s photos and claim they are you.
Don’t use photos that are not representative of your current appearance or are any way deceitful. I’ve had it happen several times, when I go to meet a guy and he’s used another guy’s picture instead of his own. I feel insulted and lied to. Chances are I’d want to sleep with the guy anyway, but on principle I couldn’t do it.
In the end it all boils down to mutual happiness on your part as well as the guy you’re hooking up with or dating. Treat others how you’d want to be treated. Be creative, be fun and stay sexy boy! I hope you enjoyed my brief do’s and don’ts of online dating. Stay classy. Stay safe. Download the apps!
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